PJI Judgement Questions

Use these to analyse any family decision making situation involving your children.  

Questions About the Situation

1. How important is this decision?
• If the impact is low, extensive involvement is rarely necessary.  For unimportant decisions generally don't choose Participative decision making if time is precious.

2. Does this decision need to be made immediately?
• Urgency usually favours Directive or Delegative approaches although use judiciously.

3. Do I know enough to deal with this myself?
• If yes, Directive may be justified, but only if learning and feelings are not central and the children are comfortable with this.

4. Does this require a group discussion?
• If not, avoid unnecessary Consultative or Participative approaches.

5. Is the solution already clear?
• If not, involvement is usually helpful, so consider being Consultative or Participative.

Questions About the Children

6. Do I have confidence in the children’s judgement here?
• If yes, avoid unnecessary control and especially avoid being Directive.

7. Will the children accept my decision if I just tell them what to do?
• If genuine agreement exists, involvement may add little.

8. Can the children resolve this matter themselves?
• If yes, Delegative is often appropriate.

9. Can I trust the children to act responsibly?
• Trust supports Participative or Delegative approaches; if trust is not present in this situation, err towards keeping control.

10. Is significant disagreement likely?
• High conflict reduces the suitability of Delegative decisions, although problems exist if the parent chooses to be Directive or Consulative.  Even Participative is risky without good parental facilitation.  It is often best to talk to the children individually, understand more about the nature of their disagreement, then choose to be Consultative (see Option 1, Consultative, in the model above).

Key principle:

Good parenting judgement is not about using the same style consistently. It is about choosing the right level of authority for the situation and the children involved.