Parenting Judgement

Formula Parenting

Formula Parenting Decision Tree

Effective parental decision-making is a skill that can be developed and strengthened. One of the key methodologies available from Formula 4 Parenting is a unique on-line Decision Tree that can help in the analysis of any decision to see which parenting style would be most appropriate in any given situation.

The very act of using this Decision Tree has been demonstrated as a powerful mechanism in the development of parental judgement. It is a new way to help parents and carers work with children and young people in a flexible and wise way.  It allows any adult in loco parentis to select an approach for any given situation that is most likely to be successful.

History Taking

The Decision Tree consists of a series of no more than ten questions, which allow a parent or carer to analyse any family decision making situation.  Five of the questions are about the situation itself and the other five are about the children and young people themselves.  The Formula 4 Parenting Decision Tree takes a matter of minutes to get to the heart of any behaviour, attitude or awareness-raising issue with children. The result is clear and the thought process required to complete the Decision Tree is an effective way to develop parents’ and carers’ ability to help children grow and change in the face of life’s many challenges.  Used well it will help develop the relationship between children and parents/carers in a psychologically healthy and positive way.

However, the power of the approach is significantly enhanced by a feature within the software that allows a History to be taken of all uses of the Decision Tree. This not only records the outcomes that the parent reaches, but also maps the routes that the parent takes through the Decision Tree on each occasion they use it. This becomes a potent record of parental thought processes; an opportunity for carers to compare and contrast approaches with each other, and a means to map parenting ‘cultures’ when groups of parents/carers can be encouraged to employ it.

In a recent Weekend Financial Times article about the approach* this latter feature is seen as of considerable potential.

Conceptual Framework of Formula Parenting

The Formula 4 Parenting model draws from the research and thought processes which were invested in Formula 4 Leadership’s Leadership Judgement Indicator (“LJI”), now to be published by Hogrefe, The Test Agency**. This provides a principle driven approach for deciding what would be the most appropriate style to adopt in another inherently “unequal” relationship, that between the leader and colleague. In that situation, as in the parenting situation, the leader has the authority to decide how any situation will be approached, even if the right decision is to delegate the decision entirely to the colleague (or child).

The Formula 4 Parenting authors have developed this leadership thinking into a model for parental behaviour. This is based on a set of principles for parents/carers to consider when making a decision within the family unit. These can be applied to help predict the approach which is most likely to be successful in any particular situation, bearing in mind aspects of the task or topic and the developmental stage of the child in relation to that particular decision. Sometimes it is appropriate for the parent to make the decision based on his or her own ideas, sometimes to guide by example, sometimes by influence and sometimes simply by getting out of the way so that the child can make their own decision and succeed in their own right.

The Formula 4 Parenting Model, in both its forms, and the underlying Principles and Tenets are attached.

Formula Parenting Authors

The co-developers of Formula 4 Leadership and Formula 4 Parenting are Michael Lock and Bob Wheeler. Both are experienced management consultants, each of whom has been running his own management consultancy business for more than fifteen years.  As you can see from the brief profiles below, they came to the creation of the Formula 4 approach from different but complementary backgrounds. They share a belief that success is best achieved by creating an environment where individuals can develop and fulfill their potential.

Michael Lock

Michael is both a Chartered Educational Psychologist and a Chartered Occupational Psychologist. He has a post-graduate qualification in child psychology and spent the early part of his career working as a teacher. As such, he has taken the lead in translating the Principles for Leadership into the Principles underlying Formula 4 Parenting. His consultancy activities encompass Child/ Educational Psychology, Occupational/Business Psychology and work as an Expert Witness. He is the father of five sons with an age range of 28 years.

Bob Wheeler

After graduating in Law from Fitzwilliam College, Cambridge, Bob Wheeler qualified as a Barrister from Grays Inn in 1975. He then worked in a range of increasingly senior Personnel and Human Resources positions in Private and Public Sector Industry for 15 years, before forming his own consultancy, the Wheeler Partnership in 1990. He also works as an associate at two University Business Schools. He has experience as chair to the governing body of a local school and has a daughter of ten and 16 year old twin sons.

Views of people who have made use of the Decision Tree

There has been some trialling of the Decision Tree via the Formula 4 Parenting website. These are a couple of reactions:
“I think that it is very clear and very useful.  I think that it succeeds in empowering parents/carers and children.”
Child Psychologist, Great Ormond Street Hospital.

“I have visited your site several times and tried out the decision tree with a wide range of scenarios. I found it easy to get round the site and had no problems accessing any part….

Once I saw and read the thread I realised that the decision tree is not there to suggest a final decision but to allow the user to work out the best approach to the process.
With that as the aim, I think it is very useful and the questions eg development opportunities for the children etc are very relevant and clever at leading the user to the approach they will find most comfortable.”
Ex-Head Teacher and Magistrate

PRINCIPLES AND TENETS OF FORMULA LEADERSHIP
Parents always need to keep these Principles in mind:

• always consider how important the decision is for the child and family;
• think about whether the decision offers a learning opportunity for the child;
• ensure that important decisions are worked on by those in the family who have a stake in the outcome;
• stay personally close to important decisions which are unfamiliar in nature;
• seek to establish mutual interest so that the child comes to understand and share the healthy goals of the family;
• involve children in decision making whenever their commitment is uncertain yet important;
• involve the children to improve the quality of decisions when their perspectives and knowledge are called for;
• use the whole family to improve the quality of decisions when a lot of thought and consideration is required;
• evaluate family decision making against these Principles in the short, medium and long term.

The Tenets underpinning this approach are as follows:

• No one decision making style is universally applicable to all family decision making situations.
• No one decision making style is inherently better than any other.
• Effective parents and carers gear their style to the nature of the issue and the developmental stage and characteristics of the children involved.
• Each decision-making situation can be evaluated to determine the most appropriate decision making style.
• Effective parental decision making involves a preparedness to adopt different styles of decision making.
• Effective parental decision making is a skill that can be learned.

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